Trick or Treat, You're Dead Meat (my favorite saying when I was a child)

Halloween is different when you have no children around. When we had kids it seemed like such a rush to have dinner before the sugar glut of trick or treating, or parties. Jan and I always buy way more candy than is needed. We bought a huge bag of mini- mini candy bars then bought some additional Nutrageous and Peanut Butter Cups just to make sure... all this for the 12 kids that annually show up at our door. Actually, let me rephrase that…all this for the slightly over middle aged adults that live behind the door. As usual we sorted through the candy bars to make sure we had an ample supply of our first, and second favorites.

So, I came home from work and started our traditional Halloween dinner consisting of tater tots and wiener wraps. While waiting for dinner to finish cooking our first visitors pounded on the door around 5:30. Two boys, one dressed like the grim reaper, the other dressed like what I would guess was a chubby monk. I told the grim reaper that he shouldn’t be knocking on some of these doors since there’s a lot of older people in the neighborhood.

As Jan and I sat down for dinner another knock at the door. Jan handled this one. This one was big! She quickly confessed she wasn’t a trick or treater but let us know the brake lights on the Sable were on. Sometimes the brake gets stuck and the lights stay on. So after jiggling the brake pedal so the lights would turn off we soon received another group. A little family of goblins, actually I think they were Hispanic.

We’ve had several Hispanic groups come by this evening. I was starting to wonder if the illegal aliens were now crossing the border, not to work, but for trick or treating. Then I would get a little fearful that while we were being distracted by the kids at the door, others may be tagging our house with gang graffiti.

Actually they looked like nice decent families As I closed the door I would always wish them well on their trip to Canada. For some reason they always looked a little confused.

We’ve actually had several large groups come by. Several kids are so excited that they start yelling trick or treat before they ring the bell. I swing open the door and yell excitedly, “Wow, what did you all bring me?” For some reason they always look a little confused.

We kept the blinds open in the living room so we could see who was coming down the street. I noticed this one large group stopping at each house. I had the candy basket ready as they rang the bell. Opening the door there were two of the cutest little princesses I’d seen all night. They were twin girls about 3 years old. I wondered where the big group that they were with was. In the back ground, standing in the dark on the sidewalk was the rest of the girls' entourage. I’m sure it was either their parents, grandparents, great grandparents along with assorted other relatives. I asked the girls if all those people were from their Verizon network. They too, looked a little confused.

During the evening I figured out a way to keep all my candy. I grab several pieces in my hand then as I reach into their bags I flick the side of their bag with my finger. Yep, sounds just like candy hitting the bottom of the bag. As the evening goes by and their bags are full it’s easy to even reach into their bags, and, instead of dropping candy into their bag I can actually take a few pieces from their bag. That’s what the parable of the talents is all about, right? You’ve been given two candy bars and you increase that to five.

As it gets later we start get the bigger kids. I still give them candy because, frankly, I’m afraid of them. I give them some candy, then my watch, my wallet; the computer…Jan protested that one. Now some large kid dressed like Hell Boy is driving my car away.

I wave and wish him a happy Halloween and slowly close the door. Another great holiday hits the books.