Cinderella

A few weeks ago we received a wedding invitation. Not an unusual thing. It must be because of the hundreds of dollars we spend on each personalized gift we give and our popularity that word has spread that we receive hundreds of such invites annually. Of course, I exaggerate.

This one reception has aroused some curiosity among the invitees because rumors suggest this was going to have a Cinderella theme. I haven’t been to many receptions that actually had themes, or not that I as an average wedding cake eating, cream puff popping male could detect anyway. The only theme I could tell were, you know, wedding, or like marriage, type themes. Husband and wife, standing next to each other, shaking hands, hugging…not so much each other.. but others, sort of stuff.

I was curious as to what a Cinderella themed wedding reception might consist of so I wanted to review that wildly romantic fairy tale. From what I remembered of the Disney story most of it wasn’t about any wedding reception, it was about the prince trying to find his ideal wife. His idea of the perfect wife involved foot size. Sort of weird, really. Cinderella fit the shoe, they got hitched. That was it. Don’t see how you could build much of a reception around that. Being a college grad I realized that Disney did not write the Cinderella story so I set off on a web search to find the original story of the poor little servant girl who would become the controller of birds and mice; the future queen of some imaginary kingdom.

The first story I read was something about Cinderella and her corset made of leather and bones. I didn’t remember anything about that and it seemed a little off course. So, I looked again and found another story, this time by the Brother’s Grimm. And Grimm they were. Let me give you an abridged account of the true, original story of Cinderella. You’ll see why Disney made some changes:

A wealthy man remarried after his first wife passed away. His new wife brought two beautiful daughters into the marriage. He had one daughter from his first wife. The two step daughters were jealous of their step sister and their mother demanded he either send her away or cause her to become a servant. So, she moved downstairs.

At meal time the girl’s stepsisters would throw her beans into the coals of the dwindling fire and make her pick them out in order to eat. As she did this she’d become covered in soot and cinders, hence they nicknamed her Cinderella. (Not mentioned in the story but wonder if her name was Ella, get it, Cinder- Ella)

There’s a lot more to the story but Cinderella would often visit her mother’s grave and cry. She even planted a tree there which grew and birds would nest and visit Cinderella. Eventually the prince of the kingdom decided to marry. To find a wife he and his father decided to throw a three day party (middle age version reality TV, The Bachelor). The stepmother and daughters received invites. Cinderella wanted to go and, you know the story, the stepmother didn’t let her. So Cinderella went crying on her mother’s grave and, magically, the birds brought her a beautiful gown and shoes. She danced with the prince all night, then ran off into the pigeon house and disappeared.

The second night she appeared in an even more beautiful gown, but at the end of the evening she ran off and climbed a pear tree. The king chopped down the tree but she wasn’t there. The third night, the prince put some pitch on a step to trap his prize. Unfortunately, when Cinderella ran off this time she ran right out of her slipper because it stuck in the pitch. Now you would think a lot of other shoes would have also been stuck in the pitch that night too, including a few dukes. So, the prince went around to find out who fit the shoe. Sort of risky because the prince must have been pretty ignorant of the fact that shoes can fit a lot of different feet. But, the story just focuses on his stop at the home of Cinderella.

One of the stepsisters tries on the shoe. She can’t get her big toe in. Her “caring” mother tells her to cut off her toe to make it fit. So, she does. Prince dodo doesn’t notice blood spurting out of the shoe and takes her home to marry. As he passes the grave of Cinderella’s mother the bird’s who roost there sing a little poem that tells the prince that there’s blood on the shoe and she’s the wrong one.The prince returns the damaged goods.

The second sister tries on the stained shoe. She can’t get her heel in. So, the mom tells her to cut it off. She slices it off until her foot fits. The prince takes this one home but the little birds say the same thing. He again takes her back.

This time Cinderella tries on the now bloody slipper and, amazingly, she doesn’t have to cut anything off. The step sisters still want to be part of the wedding so they ride along in the carriage. As they pass the grave of Cinderella’s mother the birds swoop down and peck out an eye of each sister. After the wedding, as the carriage returns, the birds fly in and peck out the sisters other eye.

That’s the story. A little Disney, a little Hitchcock, a little Stephen King.

Now, how does that apply to a modern day wedding reception? This is how I see it…

You pile a mound of earth with a headstone and a tree growing out of it. Put a couple of unruly birds up in the tree. In the reception line you have the prince (groom) and Cinderella (bride) but then you have to have a maid of honor and a bridesmaid each with two pecked out eyes, wearing bloody slippers.

And most bridesmaids only have the dress to complain about… Ahhh! Another fairy tale wedding come to life…