Things I Learned in Lincoln, Nebraska

It was late Thursday afternoon, the day prior to the beginning of a needed vacation. The boss stops at my desk and tells me a project must be done before I leave. In a passive aggressive fit I complained outloud after he had walked away. As the day ended for everyone else I was still working, feeling stressed and angry. Christy, my cubicle neighbor, stopped by on her way out the door.
"What are you still doing here?"
"I'm trying to do as much as I can. Then I'm going to just leave."
Then in a thoughtful moment I posed, "When I return I may not have a job. But, at least I’ve been to Lincoln, Nebraska!"
Yup. Coming to Nebraska is worth losing everything for, except my marriage. OK, I don't want to lose a few other things either, like kids, house, or the multiple boxes of cereal stored in the spare bedroom.
There are many things related to the state of Nebraska. One is corn. During our Nebraska tour the only corn I saw were iced kernels in the freezer. The corn fields just hadn’t produced yet. The other thing relating to Nebraska is Mutual of Omaha. I have fond memories of Marlin Perkins “Wild Kingdom,” sponsored by the giant insurance company. I always thought Mutual of Omaha was a weekly activity for teens at church. Never did figure out why Omaha's mutual was so special.
The third thing belonging to Nebraska is tornadoes. Ever since Dorothy and her house were sucked up from the Kansas wheat fields and landing her in the Nebraska city of Ozmaha we've become keenly aware of the power of these dirt twirlers.
So, without extending the suspense longer, here is my list of things I learned in Nebraska:
1) Flying still scares me.
2) Noah is a funny kid. In trying to talk, if we didn’t understand him, he begins to sign. Sometimes it was like playing a game of charades with the little guy. He loves to jump: from the couch, off the ottoman, leap from his turned over rocking horse, off the bottom stair step, from the dining room chair, out of the car (non-moving of course). I told Kevin and Nicole I hope they have great insurance because they're going to need it to help heal their little daredevil.
3) Noah also loves hats, especially his red cowboy headgear, that came with his musical rocking horse. It’s rare to see a toddler enjoy wearing the fedora.

4) Lincoln, Nebraska is a city of nearly 250,000. Way larger than expected.
5) Runza’s must be an acquired taste. A runza tastes like chopped spicy meatloaf in a pita pocket. I believe it’s only found in Nebraska. There are many Runza fast food restaurants through out the state. They also serve hamburgers but I’m sure these are just Runza patties. And, apparently spell check doesn’t recognize the word Runza. It must have tasted one.

6) Cornhuskers rule!!! They do in Lincoln anyway. Scary name though. Envision troops of guys in overalls threatening their foes by pulling the husks off of corn cobs. I know if I saw this terrifying sight I’d turn and run.
7) The University of Nebraska is famous for football. At some point during this upcoming fall season the stadium will have sold out for 300 consecutive games. Not bad for there being seats for only 359 fans. Sorry, Nebraskans. Just kidding. It’s actually a huge stadium that dominates the Lincoln skyline. Not hard to do when the other major buildings are Runza restaurants.
8) The “Husker” paraphernalia dominates everything. From grill covers to shovels, all sport the blazing red “N”. They’ve also created several interesting sayings lettered across t-shirts, sweat shirts, and foreheads. Some of these read: “Children of the Corn:” another T shows a tornado with these words on either side, “Come for the weather, stay for the ride!”
9) In a place where athletes on the football field rule I found it funny to come across another t shirt that read, “Nebraska Bowling.” Oh yes, the dreaded Cornhusker bowling team. I can see a future job interview that goes like this:
Interviewer: “I see you played for the University of Nebraska.”
Alumni: “Yep, I played in several bowl games.”
10) Omaha Beef. I see this advertised in magazines, TV, etc.Their beef is the best. Only problem is I never saw any cattle. Either the beef is imported from Wyoming or the herbivores are hiding in the corn fields.
11) Lincoln has a heap lot of parks. They're all over the place.
12) Tornadoes. Enough can’t be said about these Tasmanian twisters. Comfort levels dive as you disembark from a plane and see signs in the airport directing you to underground tornado shelters.
13) Local TV stations know how to keep viewers. Every local station has what seems to be a continuous crawl across the bottom of the screen warning of impending severe weather. The information gives the name of counties that may experience thunder storms that could produce tornadoes. No one dares change the channel to cable because one of those dirty whirlwinds might creep up on you. I was a little suspicious though when the counties they began to mention were located in Hawaii. This supports the old TV adage, “if there’s no news, make something up.”
14) Ask to see my pet tornado. No, it’s not as scandalous as it sounds. Seems like a great Christmas present for Christina.
15) As usual, we picked record heat days to be there. The humidity was 80-90%. Many use the “feels like a sauna” or “just stepped out of the shower” phrases to describe what high humidity feels like. My description is “heavy sweat.” Enough said.
16) Never leave a debit card at Olive Garden as an accidental tip for the waiter. Ask Jan about that one. She’ll be glad to tell you.
17) Kevin and Nicole make great fries and hamburgers that are thicker than a thousand sheets of copy paper. I needed to dislocate my jaw like a boa constrictor eating an elephant to get my mouth around it. Jaw’s still flapping.
18) Kevin and Nicole are courageous, hard working, loving parents.
19) Noah does cry over spilt milk.

20) Nicole and jars of applesauce repel each other.

And finally, Jan and I truly enjoyed our Nebraska vacation. Nicole was a great tour guide and we loved being around Noah. Since he’s communicating we get a feel of his personality. He’s going to be a charmer. So, “Nam” and “Gapa” love these kids and wish they were closer. But we understand, Lincoln is a great place to raise a family. So to all the overall clad cornhuskers we bid farewell with a famous Nebraskan slogan, “Grab your corn and get the heck outa here. A
tornado's comin’!”

We captured some fireflies on video.

Handcart treks were often difficult, and sometimes accidents occurred along the way.


(Actually, Noah got tired and tried to rest.)


For some must push, and some must pull...





And some just play around!