The following entries are based upon true events, sometimes mingled with a "little" fiction.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Whatta Site

Recently Forbes listed the top 25 sites most visited annually in the United States.

Here is the list:

1. Times Square, 37.6 million
2. Las Vegas Strip, Nevada, 30 million
3. National Mall and Memorial Parks, Washington, 25 million
4. Faneuil Hall Marketplace, Boston, 20 million
5. Disney World's Magic Kingdom, Lake Buena Vista, Fla., 17.1 million
6. Disneyland Park, Anaheim, Calif., 14.9 million
7. Fisherman's wharf, Golden Gate National Park, San Francisco, 14.1 million
8. Niagara Falls, N.Y. 12 million
9. Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tenn., N.C., 9.04 million
10. Navy Pier, Chicago, 8.6 million
11. Lake Mead National Recreation Area, Ariz.-., 7.6 million
12. Universal Studios -- Islands of Adventure, Orlando, 6.2 million
13. Sea World Florida, Orlando, 5.8 million
14. Delaware Water Gap National, Penn. N.J., 5.13
15. San Antonio Riverwalk, Texas, 5.1 million
16.Temple Square, Salt Lake City, 5 million

17. Universal Studios, Hollywood 4.7 milion

18. Metropolitain Mueseum NY 4.7 million

19. Cape Cod National Seashore, Mass 4 million

20. Grand Canyon, AZ 4.43 million

21. Busch Gardens/Africa USA Tampa Bay 4.4 million

22. Seaworld, San Diego CA 4.26 million

23. Independence National Historical Park, Philadelphia Penn. 4 million

24. American Museum of National History, NY 4 million

25. Waikiki Beach, Oahu Hawaii,


I was impressed with this list because Jan and I have actually been to nine of these sites, or ten, if you count crossing over the Delaware Water Gap on our way to New York City.

Times Square in New York ranks first with 37.6 million. Times Square is not really square and it covers a much smaller area than I’d thought. That’s a lot of people to visit one area. I question this statistic though. How do they count and what to they consider being visitors? When we visited Times Square I saw no counters, no interviewers to ask where people came from. I’m guessing most of those visitors are included on December 31st , who come to the square to watch the ball drop. I always wondered what the big deal about that was.

Now, a place like Disney World/Land can count accurately because admission is paid and you actually pass through a gate. National Parks can count the number of people in each car as they collect fees. But places like Fisherman’s Warf, Las Vegas strip, National Mall, or the San Antonio Riverwalk, their counts are suspect.

You’ll notice that Temple Square is listed as the 16th most visited place in the United States. That’s pretty amazing considering there’s no parking around there. I’ve got a little marketing background and I have a few suggestions on how Temple Square can work its way up the list. Of course, the square needs to add a few things that draw vacationers from these other places.

In a flash of brilliance I’ve devised a plan that will achieve this goal:

Rides. Lots of rides.

Thrill rides like the Expire by Spire where riders are hauled on scaffolding up to the top of the highest spire on the temple. Then, in a moment of absolute screaming terror the ropes give way and the riders plummet to within feet of the ground. What makes it scarier is that there are no hand rails or seat belts.

Other rides to consider is to add a couple of rollercoaster’s that whip and whoosh over and around the flowered plaza. The Choir Flyer would be a trembling wooden roller coaster with cars resembling hand carts. I can also picture The Tabernacle Twister, a modern coaster that swoops from the top of the Hotel Utah, then down through the doors of the tabernacle, and spiraling cork screw turns that screams past the podium and over the organ pipes.

Conference Center to the Earth would take awe struck visitors on a mythical journey to the earth’s center to see where the lost ten tribes are located. A few flying saucers filled with lost tribe members would fill the sky as the tribes wait to make their triumphant return.

The Book of Mormon Cruise would load travelers on a Jaredite barge. The ship would take travelers through the desert with Lehi and his family. The animatronics would make these characters come to life as Lehi picks up the Liahona and as Lamuel and Laman pick on Nephi. Witness the beheading of Laban, then drift by savage Lamanites who jump up from the bushes brandishing their clubs and spears, terrorizing the startled passengers.

Temple Square needs to throw in some stunts, too. How about skate boarders dressed like pioneers rolling off the copper topped tabernacle?! Square guests would be struck with wonder as they witness covered wagons zipping off ramps and flying over campfires fueled by torched “meadow muffins."

Finally, the annual event that will attract more visitors than any other venue- July 23rd. As the clock closes in on midnight ushering in Pioneer day, a gargantuan multi-lighted colored beehive would descend from the top of the Church Office Building, the crowd below cheering and shouting for a new day to remember who made all this possible. A forward thinking creative marketing genius that launched Temple Square to number 15 on the most visited attractions in the USA. Yeah, that’s right-me.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

This was hilarious! I would definitely ride the Expire by Spire. It's like the Drop Zone or the Big Shot on top of the Stratosphere in Vegas.

Heather and Jason said...

Ooh that sounds like fun...how much would you charge for this adventure?

Anonymous said...

LOVE it! As I started reading, I thought, "I hope there's a little blasphemy in the ride descriptions," and there was, with Expire by Spire. Heck yes! You guys are so my family.