Are you a "Walking Billboard?"

Jan bought a blue fleece Columbia jacket for me shortly before my birthday. It’s nice and snuggly. As I tried on the jacket I noticed small silver letters spelling out Columbia on the upper left breast.. At first I thought, “Well Columbia is a well known brand name. I can wear this fleece with pride. “

Then I started thinking. (This only happens sporadically). Why should I advertise Columbia when I wear this jacket? This marketing freeloading company should pay me to walk around exposing their logo to potential fleece buying customers.

Old Navy is notorious for this. The store sells t-shirts with “Old Navy’ emblazoned across the chest. People buy these because they believe Old Navy is cool.

These walking billboards don’t realize they are being used.

Not that I’ve done this but, I wonder if I walked to the cashier, with one of these tees in hand, and told her that I want this shirt free for walking the stores logo around town. In fact, the store should pay me to wear this.

I don’t know what the response would be but I’d be in the right.

I saw a news clip about a guy who puts on a different t-shirt with various logos each day and walks the streets of New York. He gets paid handsomely to do this.

Take a look at NASCAR drivers. (If anyone can tell me what NASCAR stands for please let me know) Sponsor logos cover the cars and jump suits of these drivers When drivers give interviews or make promotional appearances they wear the logo ensemble. I wonder what logos their houses, children, dogs or cats wear.

Why can’t I do the same? I traditionally wear slacks, dress shirt and tie to work. If I were to sell my personal space these are some of the sponsors I would hope to secure for various clothing parts:

Collar-Whisk

On the pocket-Hot Pockets

Down the left side of the shirt: Right Guard Deodorant

Down the right side: Applebee’s Ribs

Tie- Prego Spaghetti sauce since there’s usually tomato stains there already.

On my shirt sleeve I’d have Gold’s Gym on the right arm. Whenever I’d flex my mountainous bicep the logo would go 3D.

On the left sleeve would be a Robitussin imprint because when the nose runs and there’s no tissue…

Across my portly belly area: Firestone tires- when ever I sat down, the bulging spare tire, would make the logo go 3D

On the back of the shirt, Tyson Chicken would be imprinted vertically in yellow down my spine.

The seat of my pants: (this would be the largest logo) Depends

The bottom of my shoes would have a Wrigglies Gum logo, complete with squashed samples.

This leaves the pant legs open for suggestions.

So, the next time you put on those running shoes with the swoosh showing prominently, email the Nike marketing department and demand payment. All they can say is no, or get lost, or our lawyers are knocking at your door…