The Wave

The inside of my car was so hot I felt perspiration being sucked from every pore of my body as I drove back to work after a brief afternoon lunch stop at home. The only relief came from the rush of hot wind from the open windows that was created while the car was moving. There were no other vehicles around as I approached a traffic light that suddenly turned red. Reluctantly, I stopped and the sweltering became unbearable. I wondered how the light had been triggered, there were no other cars, or pedestrians that would have pushed the cross walk button.

Suddenly, from the bushes on the corner popped out two little girls like Jill-in-the-Boxes. They began to wave with a fervor reserved for stranded travelers seeking roadside assistance. I glanced back at the light, waiting for it to turn green. I realized it was the girls who must have pressed the cross walk button and stopped my “easy bake oven” on wheels. While concentrating on the light the sweat began dripping down my forehead, stinging my eyes, but I could still see the girl’s frantic waves to my left. Feeling they wouldn’t stop unless I acknowledged their inconvenient prank I raised my hand off the steering wheel and wiggled it in a slight salutation. The girls broke out in huge smiles as the light turned green and I proceeded through the intersection. Looking in my rear view mirror I saw these little pixies press the crosswalk button again then jump back into the bushes, waiting for their next victim.

This was not my first experience with “wavers” but perhaps these were the most sincere. Until then those who waved as I passed by were generally standing in front of a business, holding signs with various slogans that said unkind things about their boss or about the business. I’m not sure why they waved at the passing cars. Perhaps they kept a tally of those who waved back, thinking this would validate their cause. I waved back because I’m friendly. To this day I don’t know how many strikes or protests I personally lengthened because I waved back.

Lately though this waving business has become, well, business. It seems that nearly every corner has a “waver”, someone holding a sign for a business, trying to encourage drivers to swing in and buy or partake of the service rendered. Spending a good part of my life in the advertising and marketing business I have a difficult time understanding why a business would resort to using a “waver.” Most cities have sign ordinances regarding putting stationary, permanent signs on a public right of way, such as a sidewalk. Using a “waver” is one way to skirt around those regulations.

I guess the “waver” works cheap. I’m sure they are paid minimum wage. I can understand using this form of advertising if your business was using a different location for a sale somewhere else. Or, many times “wavers” are used for liquidation sales. However, I’ve always felt that advertising is a window to their business and some of these “wavers”, well, unless a business likes people to think their business is full of crusty looking people, those used to hold these signs are usually not great representatives. Why not at least have them dress nice, such as formal gowns and tuxedos. That would add class and create favorable impressions.

There are all kinds of wavers. Some are human posts, holding the sign with sour, bored faces. Some wave the signs back and forth, giving some animation to the advertising. But, because the sign is wobbling back and forth it can’t be read unless you are a bobble head and can synchronize your head with the back and forth motion of the sign. Some try to hold the sign steady and wave at the cars passing by. I never see anyone waving back.

My personal favorite was a guy who stood outside Midas Muffler for several weeks. As cars waited for the light to change he would start dancing by swaying back and forth like a pendulum. He at least had people honking and pointing when they drove by. However, I never saw anyone drive into the place because of his show.

Some businesses apparently want the focus to be on the sign, not the waver. The sign holder is supposed to blend into the environment. Using plain, ordinary people dressed in camouflage works the best. There is a danger in using people who are too attractive. Driving down Main Street the other day I noticed a very cute young lady holding a sign with an arrow pointing across the street. However, I bet most drivers couldn’t tell you anything about the business because they weren’t looking at the sign.

Now, in an effort to gain more attention, businesses are making their wavers dress up in ridiculous costumes. I’ve seen Spider-man with a sign for cheap haircuts and pizza people advertising a cheap dinner. I even saw a guy wearing a card board mattress. Then there are the annual patriotic wavers for a tax service dressed as Uncle Sam and the Statue of Liberty. I personally would be a little fearful of my taxes being done by someone dressed in red, white and blue pants and a stove pipe hat.

For the most part, I think drivers are uncomfortable having someone they don’t know wave at them. Most people don’t even seem to notice wavers, driving by with invisible blinders like race horses so they won’t get distracted. When there are wavers on every corner they become an annoyance and lose any effectiveness. However, I always feel a little guilty and unfriendly as I drive by a waver. Perhaps it’s from my earlier experience with those little girls.

A few weeks ago I was coming in earlier for work. It was seven A.M and 26 degrees. As I approached the location of this tax service I could see the spikes of the Stature of Liberty poking out of the freezing mist. She stood motionless, holding her sign with one hand and her other hand tucked into her costume for warmth. I saw her try to muster a smile as I drove closer. Looking in my mirror to verify there were no other vehicles behind me, I applied the brakes, and while passing her at the speed of a slow parade, brought my right hand to my forehead and smartly saluted Lady Liberty with the frozen blue lips. Suddenly, her hand popped out from the ruffles of her dress and she waved feverishly. I could still see her waving at me in the rear view mirror as I continued on my way to work. After all, “wavers” are people, too.