The following entries are based upon true events, sometimes mingled with a "little" fiction.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

These are a few of my creepiest things:

(sung to the tune of These are a Few of My Favorite Things)



It’s said they appear in the late evening, when the sun is just setting and darkness begins to steal the light.

The Old Navy store manager’s voice began to rise as he introduced his employees to me with their stories of the frightening phenomenon.

“I felt a chill run down my spine,” one witness shuddered. “I turned around slowly, not knowing what to expect.”

The employee pointed towards the top of a clothing rack, “There, it was right there. I didn’t know what it was. It looked like a disembodied child.”

“A child?"

“ Yes, a child, except there were two of them, with feet and hands like sock monkeys.”

“Although tragic, children with no fingers or toes do not qualify as supernatural. However, it would be interesting to discover how the youngsters climbed onto a clothes rack.”

The employee’s eyes widened. “They had no head, either! A neck, but no head!”

“OK, now we’re getting somewhere!”

A quivering voice from another witness confirmed the sighting, “I saw it, too. I ran out of the store like a shoplifter whose pants were stuffed with ripped off sweatshirts. I didn’t want to come back the next day. It took three quarts of Dr. Pepper to stir up the courage to walk back into the store.”

“Is there any other place in the store where these experiences have occurred?”

"Yes, I’ve seen something,” a young woman added. “Something in the back room. We call it….the mannequin morgue. It’s where the mannequins for our store displays are pieced together.”

“Pieced together?”

“Yes…when we can’t find an arm or leg we steal an appendage from another to complete the model.”

“So, is that why some of the male mannequins have nail polish?”

“Not necessarily. Some of the males are, well…they’re just different.”

The body of a third employee began to shake, “I won’t go in there when it’s dark.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s dark.”

“What do you mean, dark?”

“It’s dark, I can’t see.”

“Have you ever witnessed anything in that room you’d consider unusual?”

“No, it’s dark.”

“Let’s get back to the manifestations of what I’ll refer to as the partial-child.”

Another witness timidly raised his hand. “It was wearing an Old Navy tee. The tee shirt was a youth small with crew neck and short sleeves, grey, one had Batman on the front, the other Wolfman.”

“You seem to have sharp eyes.”

“I just know my tees. Well, actually, I wear those. See, it’s my undershirt.

“Enough already! I don’t want to see any underclothing! I just want to know if this place has supernatural activity. Now, did you really see something?”

"When I saw this, this apparition…this horrible thing, my hair stood on end.”

“I find that interesting because you’re bald,” I pointed out.

“Well, I do have hairy arms. See… feel, nice and soft.”

“So, Mr. Smith, what do you think is happening in this store?" the manager asked. “Do you think it’s haunted?”

“Actually, I find all of you sorta scary. And the prices on your sweatshirts are horrendous.” I gathered my notes and walked towards the exit doors. “Hey,” I shouted back. “Did you know you have a male mannequin up here wearing a bikini?”

“Like I said,” replied one of the witnesses, “some of them are… just different.”


Below is a photo taken with a super sensitive high density retro glow hieroglyphic camera. See for yourself and make your own conclusion…






Saturday, October 10, 2009

"Boundless" Playground



Recently there were a series of articles in the Mail Tribune concerning a new “Boundless” playground at Hoover Elementary School. “Boundless” means the playground is accessible to all children, including those in wheelchairs or with other disabilities. The idea for the playground came from a local mother. To quote the article:


“When the Hoover Elementary School Parent-Teacher Organization met with the principal nearly two years ago about raising money for a new playground, one image came to parent Tracy Dillard's mind: children in wheelchairs sitting on the edge of the school's playground watching other kids play.”


The new playground is to be fully wheelchair accessible “with wheelchair ramps to all five levels of the main play structure, engineered wood-fiber bark and sensory activities for children with autism.”

“The playground also includes two bucket-seat swings, six regular swings, three climbing walls, slides, monkey bars and a sidewalk with surfaces that rock back and forth.”


OK, I know where some of you think this blog is going…don’t sell me short here. Honestly, I have great empathy towards those who are disabled, particularly those confined to wheelchairs. I can’t imagine what that would be like. A playground where these kids could enjoy fanciful freedom and all children could play would be tremendous.


When I first read about the playground I wondered how children in wheelchairs are going to benefit from this? What sort of play activities can they participate in?


So, I paid a visit to the playground. Obviously, I went when there were no kids; middle of an afternoon on a weekend. I didn’t need the tense glares of mothers who were guarding their cubs as I took photos of the structures. Sans kids was a better alternative.


As the photos indicate this is a great looking playground. I love the rubber matted play area. I’d like to have this stuff in my bedroom so I won’t get so banged up falling out of bed.


There’s a ramp that goes to the top level of the play structure. I searched for other indications of how a child in a wheelchair could really play here. My investigation led me to this conclusion: that was it, a ramp leading to the top of the tower. The Boundless Playground has taken the kids and their wheelchairs from the sidelines watching other children play to a lookout post where they now can watch children play from a different perspective.

The other playground equipment, such as monkey bars, climbing walls and slides, I doubt any of those are wheelchair accessible.


If I was a child in a wheelchair I’d want to have real fun. It wouldn’t cut it to just be pushed up a ramp into the middle of the structure. Whirl me, twirl me, thrill me…so I can have real sensory experiences.


What I’m about to share are a few of my ideas on how to help these children have similar playground experiences as healthy kids. I hope you don’t think this is meant to be funny or mocking those with disabilities. I think these are great ideas and the children would cheer with excitement at the play opportunities.


Most likely these ideas can never be implemented, given the laws and regulations on preventing true childhood adventures. But, I’m throwing these out there. If you have additional ideas let me know.


Swings: this is basic playground equipment. However, the swings would need to be bucketed and enclosed with lots of straps and restraining belts. Sounds like a torture device but safety concerns come first. The swing wouldn’t be attached to a low cross bar that limits altitude but to a bar as tall as other swings, giving full pendulum experiences to these kids.


Merry go round: the merry go round that kids push in circles until their guts explode is another sensory opportunity. Deep grooves would need to be cut into the floor to accommodate the wheels of the chairs. The chairs would be backed into these ruts and secured. Then an adult or other child could spin to dizzy oblivion.


Slide: Using the same futuristic technology developed for pinewood derby ramps, wheels on the chairs fit into groves. The slide sides would be chair high to prevent falls. The end of the slide slowly declines easing the chairs to a gradual stop.


Coaster: The other kids will be jealous and ask their mom’s if they could be handicapped if this last suggestion was ever created. This is similar to the slide idea but a small roller coaster track, complete with modest climbs and descents would whirl kids around the outskirts of the playground. Now, the able bodied kids will be standing on the sidelines, staring at the wheelchairs, wanting to be included but can’t.

This could be a valuable life lesson for these kids and greater compassion for the handicapped.