Many years ago Jan and I gathered the young family and made a visit to Fred Meyers, our local “find it all in one stop” store. Heather was maybe three and a strayer. If we didn’t keep watch she would wander off the grid.
On this trip Jan and I were hustling the boys around when we realized Heather was MIA. When your child goes missing your heart plummets to your knees and your head whips back and forth trying to catch a glimpse of the offspring. We began to dash down the aisles when an announcement from a store employee came over the speaker system.
“We have a little lost girl. She has curly brown hair and wearing a white shirt with pink flowers and red shorts.” We turned and saw Heather only a few aisles away being held by the clerk describing our daughter. She was waving at us with a wide grin on her face. Funny Heather. From then on we leashed her. Some thought that was cruel but we felt it was more cruel to let her wander away from us and get snatched by overly aggressive store clerks looking for an excuse to use the PA system.
Whenever Jan and I go shopping she complains that I wander off but, it’s actually Jan who does the wandering. As soon as we enter stores she takes off like a kid busting through the gates of
However, I now have an electronic leash that keeps us attached. I’m grateful for cell phones. When we separate I can always call her to find out where she’s at; as long as she has it on, it’s not on silent mode, or stuffed in the sound proof pockets of her purse.
During one holiday shopping excursion at Wal Mart I stopped to look at something for a grandchild when I realized Jan was missing. I looked down several aisles without success. I thought about contacting a clerk to make an announcement that someone was looking for a lost wife. I’d have the clerk describe what she was wearing and her age. That would get her.
But, I remembered we had cell phones.
“Hey Jan. I lost you. Where are you?
“I’m at the aisle with the dolls.”
“OK don’t move. I’ll be right there.
I went to the doll aisle. No one there.
“Hey-I went to the doll aisle and no Jan. Where’d you go?”
“I’m looking at the books.”
“Don’t move.
Again, no wife.
“Hey! Are we playing hide n’ seek here? Stay on the phone until I find you.”
We continued in frustration trying to find each other. She’d tell me where she was but it was like we were in alternate realities.
“All right- where are you?” I was getting frustrated.
“I’m in the main aisle.”
“I’m in the main aisle!” I exclaimed. “What main aisle are you talking about?”
“The one that separates girl from boy toys.”
“Stop it! You are not here!”
I looked to my left then to the right. At the same time Jan glanced to her left.
“Oh, I see you now.”
We were only a few feet apart.
“Can we go home now?” I asked over the phone.
“Yes.”
We hung up and laughed.
The leash would be easier.
